My first troll – you have one, too

A while ago I started getting persistent online smacks from the same anonymous person. I was actually excited.

I’ve arrived! I’ve actually got a troll! That was my thinking at the time.

I’m pretty sure it’s a guy, so I’ll use “he.” He started with negative comments on my Facebook posts. Which is fine – people can disagree. Sometimes I’d acknowledge his point and explain why I disagreed. Most of the time I ignored it.

Then he started replying to my weekly emails. Which is weird, because that meant he actually clicked on the link in the Facebook posts to opt-in to get the emails. His tenor grew more agitated. I figured he didn’t like the emails, so I helped him out by unsubscribing him.

But the replies kept coming! He had opted in again using a different email address. I unsubscribed that one, too.

And that’s when I realized that he wasn’t my first troll. And that YOU have at least one troll.

My first troll was that voice in my own head. My first troll was me:

What will they say about this? How should I write this so I don’t look weak? Do I really know what I’m doing here?

In PR, we fight a constant battle for respect. Every textbook I read in my college PR courses talked about how we have to prove ourselves to management. Even well-meaning executives or peers from other departments believe that anyone can write and talk and therefore we aren’t that valuable.

PR also tends to attract “nice” guys and gals, the people pleasers, and therefore we end up over-servicing everyone, which in turn leads them to view us as order-takers rather than leaders in our own right.

As proactive and secure as we may feel, we are often driven by wanting to pre-empt the second-guessing we’ve been conditioned will come.

You have it too. Ask someone in PR why they’re so hard on themselves, and if they’re really candid, they’ll say, “So nobody can beat me to it.”

We think that it’s okay to listen to that voice because we’re channeling it into something positive. That it will refine us, make us stronger. That’s kinda how I looked at my online troll. I’d consider his arguments, wonder if maybe I was somehow misreading my audience, maybe I’m losing touch . . . NO! It’s just one guy, one anonymous guy!

Same with that “troll” in your head. You know the difference between it and a valuable instinct or gut feeling. The troll voice is not constructive. It’s doubt, it’s negative energy.

So just “unsubscribe” from it. Imagine that you’re clicking “block” on Twitter or Instagram. That’s it – I’m not listening to you anymore.

To help with the “unsubscription process,” avoid people who give off negative energy, especially toward or about you. And gravitate toward those who are constructive. Not sycophants or enablers – I’m talking about real friends and true coworkers, who are engaged in the battle with you, not against you. They’ll tell you hard things when you need to hear them, but it will be with your best interest at heart.

Don’t suffer fools, and definitely don’t listen to trolls. Especially if that troll is you :).