Coming on too strong


One of my Inner Circle members recently posted the following question to our members forum: “I’ve heard Michael say that pitching a reporter is a lot like dating. How can I get a reporter to remain interested in me without coming on too strong?”

I do often draw parallels between dating and pitching, mostly to make the point that in both cases it needs to be a good fit. But there are some important distinctions in the dynamic between potential daters and journalists and PR pros. Namely, in PR there’s no such thing as coming on too strong. You can come off annoying. You can come off misguided. You can come off as ignorant, sloppy, or lazy. But if your pitch is properly targeted and carefully crafted, there is no too strong. Please remember those italicized words as you read the rest of this email.

Let’s say you email someone you want to date and they don’t respond. Then you text them something cool that made you think of them and they don’t respond. Then you DM them congratulating them on some success they posted on social, with no response. At this point, I’d recommend you move on. And move on quick before things get any creepier. Maybe you already went too far – I don’t know. And you definitely aren’t reading this to take dating advice from someone who has been married for 21 years.

But you could have that exact same experience with a reporter, and not only is it not creepy, it’s exactly what you should be doing.

A friend of mine received this message from a reporter she was working with, “Thanks for hounding me . . . and no, I am not kidding 🙂 I tell people all the time to keep harassing me until they hear from me.”

The world of dating has trained us to look for and decode subtle signs, nuanced silences, and unspoken intentions. Luckily, the PR world is easier to navigate. Journalists are almost always direct. For one, they don’t have time to play games. And two, even though they are wonderful people, they feel absolutely no social obligation to spare your feelings. If they’re not interested, they’ll tell you. Simple as that.

So if they haven’t told you no, assume they just haven’t seen what you have to offer. Again, if your pitch is properly targeted and carefully crafted, reach out again with some new element to your pitch. Give them a call and let them know you’ve got something you think they’ll love.  Follow up as often as you need until you hear back from them or you come against a deadline. And if they do come back with a no, don’t take it personally. Just means your piece doesn’t fit into their schedule or agenda at the moment. Doesn’t mean you can’t reach out again in the future when you’ve got something their audience wants.

And one more thing that works well in PR but not so much with dating: if your original journalist isn’t interested, ask if they have a friend who might be!

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This article was originally published on Oct 01, 2018.