The best way to ask for a raise

I had an experience once that illustrates the best way to ask for a raise, whether it be from your current boss or your current clients.

It started one day when I was walking from the parking lot into the office with a friend. I remember walking under these trees and telling him, “If I could just find a way to earn another $500 a month, then we’d be set.”

My family was growing, the house felt like it was getting smaller. Getting that raise seemed like the answer. But we both knew nobody was getting raises where we worked – he suggested writing a book instead.

I had an awesome boss – we still get together as friends now, six years after we stopped working together. But she had maxed out the limited resources she had authority over. I could ask again, like I had at every review. I could show the killer results I’d been achieving. But I knew the answer would be the same as it had been for years – delivered kindly, with an apology – a 3 percent cost of living raise.

For a while I just pondered the situation (I’ve found that most major leaps forward in my life have begun as nothing more than a growing desire in my heart). But after a while I got an email from the PR leader at the big hospital down the street. He and I had served on our local PRSA board together. He was hiring – was I interested?

The answer wasn’t as obvious as you might think. I loved everything about my job – the people, the mission, the work. I was given every opportunity to flourish professionally. But I decided that if I really thought I was worth more than I was getting, then I couldn’t very well sit around complaining about it and doing nothing. So I applied.

Fast-forward to the final round of interviews, the one where you meet the top executives. While I was sitting in the waiting room, I picked up that day’s newspaper that was laying on the coffee table and pulled out the local section. Two of the stories on the front were ones I had placed.

They called me into the conference room and started doing introductions. The medical director (top doctor at the hospital) winked at me. Through a coincidence (?), I had already gotten him on the Today show when he had partnered with a researcher at my organization. In an answer to a question about my relationships with the media, I showed them that day’s paper and explained how I had placed those two stories.

The next day, I was offered the job.

The hardest part was telling my boss. To me, it felt like good-bye. But to her, it was a call to action.

She hopped on the phone to the HR director. It’s amazing how fast they can assemble a meeting of the compensation committee when they really want to. She and I wrote a new job description that night (well, we just wrote down all the stuff I was already doing), and that got approved the next morning.

I got a new title, more authority, and that $500 more a month – and then some. But more importantly, I learned how you really get the respect and compensation you deserve.

Bosses and clients are busy – they have problems just like you. When you’re a good employee or vendor, they don’t think about you very much. They are relieved they can let you do your thing while they have to focus on problems.

You’ve got to prove your value in two ways:

First, build a track record of results that becomes almost irreplaceable in their eyes. Or at least that would take a lot of time and effort to find someone who could replace it.

Second, go out and prove your value in the marketplace by getting a better offer. (If you serve clients, you land new ones that pay more so you can afford to leave your lagging current ones).

To put this in a coldly rational way – you’ve got to have better alternatives than your boss or client does.

Therefore, the best way to ask for a raise is to say, “It’s been great here – thanks so much for the opportunities you’ve given me. I’ve been offered XXX at this other place – I’d like to stay, but if you can’t match that I’ll understand and be grateful for our time together.”

Either way, you progress. And when you’re sincere and polite about it, you can either stay or go with a clear conscience and a good reputation.

P.S. Inner Circle members tell me all the time they are getting raises or better jobs. If you’re not, it could be because you’re not producing enough. Or you don’t know how to properly position the results that you are already getting. Join us and fix that.